Neuro Linguistic Programming
Context: Created from Slides of a NLP course.
Disclaimer: NLP has been described as Pseudoscience by many reports.
The study of the structure of subjective experience...
- Neuro: Nervous system through which experience is received and processed through the five senses
- Linguistic: Language and non-verbal communication systems through which neural representations are coded, ordered and given meaning.
- Programming: The ability to organize our communication and neurological systems to achieve specific desired goals and results.
NLP is ...
- Attitude: A sense of curiosity and adventure - desire to learn the skills to be able to find out what kinds of communication influences somebody and the kind of things worth knowing. To look at life as a rare and unprecedented opportunity to learn.
- Technology: Enabling the practitioner to organize information and perceptions in ways that allow them to achieve results that were one inconceivable.
- Methodology: All behavior has a structure - and that structure can be modeled, learned taught and changed(re-programmed). The way to know what will be useful and effective are the perceptual skills.
Human Communication Model
Each event goes thru a filter of...
- Generalize Before it reaches our memory storage.
Then it is further affected by
- Personality traits
- Values and Beliefs
These can dive change in any direction - forward or backward...
|Viusalise||Body Chemistry||Body Language|
|Feel inside||Facial Expressions|
|Say to yourself|
Logical Levels of NLP
- Environment: Where? When? With Whom?
- Behavior: What you say and do
- Capabilities: How?
- Beliefs and values: Why?
- Identity: Who am I?
- Purpose: What for?
Four Pillars of NLP
- Sensory Acuity(Skin color, breathing, eyes, etc.)
- The process that allows you to communicate with a client's unconscious mind
- When people are like each other, they like each other.
- The state whereby a client(or anyone) will uncritically accept suggestions or advice that you give them.
- A naturally occurring state
Some methods to build rapport
- Ask and use their name
- Actively listen
- Ask questions
- Show empathy
- Find common ground
- Follow the lead
- Be genuine
3 Components of Rapport...
1. Mirror and Matching
- Position gestures
- Facial Expressions
- Voice : Tone, tempo, volume, Timbre
- Internal thought words
- Key words
But when doing this, be subtle - avoid mimicry.
- Everyone has a unique model of the world
- Behind every behavior is a positive intention
- People always make the best choices available to them
- All behavior has positive intention
- Respect your client's model of the world
- People are not their behaviors
- The meaning of the behavior is dependent on the context it is exhibited in
- The most important thing about a person is that person's behavior.
- Everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have available.
- The person with the most Flexibility in their behavior will have greater influence over others
- Resistance in a client is a lack or rapport
- There are no un-resourceful people - only un-resourceful states.
- Everyone is in change of their mind and therefore their results.
- The meaning of the communication is the response you get.
- Every behavior is useful in some context
- People work perfectly to produce the results they are getting.
- Positive changes always comes from adding resources
- There is no substitute for clean open sensory channels
- The positive worth of an individual is held constant, while the value and appropriateness of internal and/or external behavior is questioned.
- The quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our communications.
- If one person can do something, anyone can learn to do it.
- Map is not the territory
- If you change your map you'll change your emotional state
- People maps are made of pictures, sounds,feelings, smells and tastes.
- People respond to their maps of reality, not to reality
- Choice is better than no choice.
- Experience has a structure
|Effect Thinking||Cause Thinking|
|People don't listen to me||What should I do to make them listen|
|This company wont give me growth opportunities||What should I do to create more opportunities?|
Cycle of Success or failure
1 Belief > 2 Potential > 3 Actions > 4 Results > 1 Belief...
Hierarchy of Ideas
Chucking Up/Zoom Out
- What is this an example of?
- For what purpose?
- What is your higher intention?
- What will having that give you?
Chucking Down/Zoom in
- What are examples of this?
- What specifically?
- What are the steps or details?
- What are the pieces that make up this thing?
Think of an Iceberg...
- Behaviors we exhibit
- Words we use
- Facial expressions
- Things that can be seen by a camera
- Deep meaning of what we say - contains information that is unexpressed or not consciously known
Meta Modal Distortion
- Mind Read(Claiming to know someone's internal state) - "I know you don't like me"
- Lost Performative(Person/source doing the judgment is left out) - "Its good to study in the morning"
- Cause and Effect(where the cause is WRONGLY put outside the self) - "You make me mad"
- Complex Equivalence(Where two experiences are interpreted as being synonymous) - "She is always yelling at me - so she doesn't like me."
- Presuppositions(The speaker has assumed that something is true) - "Had he known this, he wouldn't have done that."
- Universal Quantifiers(Universal generalizations - all, every, everyone etc.) - "She never listens to me"
- Modal Operator of Necessity(have to, must, should, should not, etc.) "I must earn a lot of money"
- Modal Operator of Possibility(can/can't, will/wont, possible/impossible, etc.) "I can't earn a lot of money"
- Unspecified verbs - "He rejected me"
- Lack of referential index(fails to specify a person or a thing). "They don't listen to me"
- Comparative Deletions(better, worse, most, etc) "She is a much better person"
Power of Metaphors
Purpose of a metaphor is to pace and lead a client's behavior through a story. Major points...
- Displacing the referential index from the client to a character in a story.
- Pacing the client's problems by establishing behaviors and events between the characters in the story that are similar to those in the client's situation
- Accessing resources for the client with the context of the story
- Finishing the story such that a sequence of events occurs in which the characters in the story resolve the conflict and achieve the desired outcome.
It refers to a natural process by which any element of an experience(sensory and modality component) can recreate(re-evoke) the entire experience.
Considering an negative issue from many different aspects to find a positive
- Context Re-framing: Take the undesired attribute and find a different situation where it would be valuable
- Content Re-framing: Take the undesired attribute and find a description where the attribute takes on a positive value.