Ifs Internal Family Systems

IFS is a therapy framework that looks at a different aspects of a person as 'Parts'. Its useful to see each part as a person - it will help you connect with the part.

Acc. to IFS, There are no bad parts. There are 2 types of parts...

• Wounded Parts: These are parts of ourselves that remember how we got hurt, and learn to hold the pain
• Protective Parts: These parts protect the wounded parts. It remember how it used to protect us during the original trauma.

Blending

At times, with specific stimuli, some parts of us can take over. Is IFS language, this is called Blending. The phrase 'triggered' is very close to this.

When you are blended with a wounded part, it feels like pain, fear or other emotional dysregulation. If you blend with a protective part, it feels like a compelling to act in a certain way.

Unblending

When you are blended with a part, you are not being your full self. You can only see thru the narrow view/understanding of the part you are blended with. To go back, you have to 'unblend'.

To do this, use curiosity. Don't try to fight the part, but try to understand it. Think of it as 'Being the part vs Observing the part'.

Ask yourself, "How do you feel about this part?"

Most parts protect us from external 'threats'. But there might be parts that protect us from internal threats - even other parts of ourselves. These parts protect our 'wounded parts' - places where we have been hurt in the past. These parts need healing in the long run.

It can help to talk to your blended parts to help with unblending. Tell them that you want to listen to them - but to do that, you'll need some space. If you have someone else with you during this process, that will help a lot.

Most of the time the wounded part is too far away(exile) or too close(blended). The difficult part is to get them to a observable distance.

True Self(8C)

When you unblended from parts(and fully healed), you reach your inner core - the true self. According to IFS, your true self is...

• Compassionate
• Connected
• Courageous
• Calm
• Creative
• Clear
• Curious
• Confident