How to Empower Others 4
- Are you Credible
- Are you reliable
- Are you consistent
- Level of intimacy
Type of Conversations
- Developmental Conversation
- Make the intent clear at the beginning.
- Point out the specific issue
- Offer to help
- Expectation Setting
- You cannot mentor anyone who is not taking accountability of their growth.
- If you want to mentor people, this is a necessary step.
- Holding Space
- Reassurance / I'm here to help
- Empathizing and Searching
Roadblocks to Healthy Communication
- Ordering, directing, commanding
- Warning, threatening, admonishing
- Moralizing, Preaching, Should/Shouldn't
- Advising, giving solutions, suggesting
- Using logic, arguing, over intellectualizing
- Criticizing, judging, assuming, blaming
- Praising, agreeing, supporting
- Labeling, name calling, ridiculing
- Analyzing, interpreting, diagnosing
- Reassuring, sympathizing, Counseling
- Questioning, probing, interrogating
- Avoiding, diverting, ignoring
Core Communication Skills
- Immediacy: You have no agenda - you are truly present to help the other
- Authentic/Active Listening: Listen to understand - not listening to reply
- Positive outcome focused: Bring it to what people want rather than what they don't want.
- Reflecting back: Rephrase what they said
- Non-directed questions: Ask opened ended questions
- Appropriate silence: Wait a bit before responding. Be ok with a bit of silence.
Personal Changes Changes so far
- Advising is seen as a negative trait
- Silence is appreciated more
- More confidence when searching
- Trying to get empathy into the process
- Starter question - do you want to vent or do you want me to help.
- Listening without intent to reply.