How to Empower Others 4

Building Trust

  • Are you Credible
  • Are you reliable
  • Are you consistent
  • Level of intimacy

Type of Conversations

  • Developmental Conversation
    • Make the intent clear at the beginning.
    • Point out the specific issue
    • Offer to help
  • Expectation Setting
    • You cannot mentor anyone who is not taking accountability of their growth.
    • If you want to mentor people, this is a necessary step.
  • Holding Space
    • Reassurance / I'm here to help
  • Empathizing and Searching

Roadblocks to Healthy Communication

  1. Ordering, directing, commanding
  2. Warning, threatening, admonishing
  3. Moralizing, Preaching, Should/Shouldn't
  4. Advising, giving solutions, suggesting
  5. Using logic, arguing, over intellectualizing
  6. Criticizing, judging, assuming, blaming
  7. Praising, agreeing, supporting
  8. Labeling, name calling, ridiculing
  9. Analyzing, interpreting, diagnosing
  10. Reassuring, sympathizing, Counseling
  11. Questioning, probing, interrogating
  12. Avoiding, diverting, ignoring

Core Communication Skills

  • Immediacy: You have no agenda - you are truly present to help the other
  • Attending
  • Authentic/Active Listening: Listen to understand - not listening to reply
  • Positive outcome focused: Bring it to what people want rather than what they don't want.
  • Reflecting back: Rephrase what they said
  • Non-directed questions: Ask opened ended questions
  • Appropriate silence: Wait a bit before responding. Be ok with a bit of silence.

Personal Changes Changes so far

  • Advising is seen as a negative trait
  • Silence is appreciated more
  • More confidence when searching
  • Trying to get empathy into the process
  • Starter question - do you want to vent or do you want me to help.
  • Listening without intent to reply.

Other Notes