Non-Violent Communication

Context: Abishek's session at LC day 2.

Why is NVC needed?

• We don't embrace conflict enough.
• Building community + Trust
• p = P - i(performance = Potential - interference)

Myths about Conflict

• Conflicts are avoidable
• Conflicts are bad
• Unhealthy people get into conflicts

Use of force is violence

Metta : Loving kindness

Trigger hijacks us - Abigdula/reptilian brain takes over

Reptilian brain has 4 responses

• Fight
• Flight
• Freeze
• Flurry

Identification

• Body Tightens
• Breath quickens
• You get feelings.

When you get triggered

• Pause: Slow down
• Do drills(Breath, drink water)

You

• Behavior(what you can see/what a camera can record)
• Feelings
• Needs

When I see you do this, I feel this. What I need is this. Do this with Honesty and Compassion.

What is Violence

• Language that disconnects is violence - life enhancing vs not life enhancing
  • Diagnosis
  • Judgement
  • Analysis
  • Criticism
  • Comparison
  • Labeling
  • Denial of responsibility(You made me feel _____)
  • Demand (You should/you must)
  • Deserve Language

When someone is attacking, there is a need of that person that is not getting fulfilled.

Request has to be specific.

Clearing conversation, Debrief

Observation - Feelings - Needs - Request Interpretation - Judgement - No connection - Strategy -