Context: Abishek's session at LC day 2.
Why is NVC needed?
- We don't embrace conflict enough.
- Building community + Trust
- p = P - i(performance = Potential - interference)
Myths about Conflict
- Conflicts are avoidable
- Conflicts are bad
- Unhealthy people get into conflicts
Use of force is violence
Metta : Loving kindness
Trigger hijacks us - Abigdula/reptilian brain takes over
Reptilian brain has 4 responses
- Body Tightens
- Breath quickens
- You get feelings.
When you get triggered
- Pause: Slow down
- Do drills(Breath, drink water)
- Behavior(what you can see/what a camera can record)
When I see you do this, I feel this. What I need is this. Do this with Honesty and Compassion.
What is Violence
Language that disconnects is violence - life enhancing vs not life enhancing
- Denial of responsibility(You made me feel _)
- Demand (You should/you must)
- Deserve Language
When someone is attacking, there is a need of that person that is not getting fulfilled.
Request has to be specific.
Clearing conversation, Debrief
Observation - Feelings - Needs - Request Interpretation - Judgement - No connection - Strategy -